Who Am I?
I know some people who did these, so why not do one myself? Well my name is Kolbey and I hail from Pennsylvania. I’m not your average stereotypical, un-employeed, drug addict, disrespectful teenager. I’m actually quite the opposite. I have a job…which i spend most of my life at…sadface. but without that, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
People come and go. That’s life. I’ve come to realize this. I’ve met and let fade, or lost amazing people in my life. One of which being the most important, my mother. I love you beyond belief and not a day goes by I do not think about you. Regardless the situation. A countless number of times, I can look up and see you standing there, sitting there or whatever..just smiling with that incredible glow. I love you Mom. I was eight. That’s only 2922 days with a parent, my mother. Why should any child deal with that? I can only remember about 2-4 years of being with her. Being born with extremely mild birth defects, I can’t harness old memories. The only memories I have with her. I knew you long enough to know who you were, and what you’d become. But mainly I realize what you inspire me to become. You are and forever will be my Hero, my Idol, my Inspiration to continue life.
* As a person from the United States, I was raised with love, care, and affection. I notice and pity those who weren’t. Everyone deserves it. I believe in second chances, but also in “an eye for an eye”. I have no personality disorders and I’m rarely in a bad mood. When I am, you will know. Anywhoser, I skip around from subject to subject a lot. My beliefs about Love. El Oh Vee E. You will know when you love something/someone. Whether it’s an inanimate object or person, you will find yourself, always wanting to know more. Spending more time with this “thing”, staring at it, examining it. You find yourself in a trance that is indescribable. Which I believe is why people believe love is blind, or hard to find. Not an intentional internal rhyme by the way. Nothing else I can think about right now. I’ll stay updated. Good Bye meow.
** Within the past year of my life, I have changed completely. Some say for the best, and of course a few say for the worst. But, why live with negativity? That’s how I feel. I gained incredible friends and met people that mean a lot to me. I changed my music taste, my interests and my hobbies. I must say, no words can describe how this choice made me feel better about myself. As everything is going now, life is perfect, besides graduating next year. but that’s a little less than a year away, might as well live it up. Thanks for listening.
*** So, i’m here to write some nonsense shit that nobody will probably read..but I must ask, why us? Why our generation? Why must we have such high expectations put on us? Why are we so hard on each other? Someone is never happy with someone else..there always has to be something wrong with them? Entirely too judgmental. You can’t have an ounce of fat on you, forced to follow the crowd, if you don’t, you get picked/bullied on. You have to act a certain way, have to do drugs, have to worry about school more than normal, HAVE to go to college to be/become someone. Is this the result of a failed generation? That what it seems like, we all get pressured due to the problems that arise every second of this world…From war, to natural resource problems, environmental problems, galactic worries..I just worry each day more and more. The more this happens and the more you see people upset, because of their appearance and lack of popularity, just tears someone apart..well it should at least. one day I just wish I could turn on the TV and actually see the environment improving, the world doing better, suicide rates lowering, just everything…it seemed like 100 years ago, everything was perfect..everyone was just living life, doing what they have to to get by…now if you do just enough to get by…I don’t know. Goodnight.
**** I’ve been doing quite a lot of thinking and realizing the fact that after senior year in HS, my life will change. I’m having the time of my life right now. I have my set of friends I enjoy being around, at anytime, any place. I’ve been blessed to have a girlfriend, that, to be honest, can’t even describe in words anymore. An easy job that led me to meet some pretty chill ass people (even though I bitch constantly about work). My job pays for what I need to pay for and leaves me with a little extra for me to treat myself. However, reality is catching up and slowly coming to knock me off my high. When it does, I fear the worst.
*****Basically a sequel to (****), I don’t want to graduate. I don’t want to have serious responsibilities. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t wanna lose everyone i’m close to. Never. Typing this is bringing me tears. I know people say this all the time…but Fuck The System. I want to do what I want. I want to be in Automotive Repair & Mechanics. However, everyone wants me to do something else. My dad, oh my dad, he wants me to go to college for 4-6 years, at a good college and get a starting salary out of college at 40k+ a year. You realize how much I want this? How much I want everything I dreamed of as a child? How much I want that German Shepard? That white house with black shutters? That wooden picket fence surrounding it? A family? One of my dream cars? Every fucking day. The perfect life? Ever since I lost my mom, my dad was there, every moment for me. I feel like complete shit not wanting and believing I can do that. I feel like I wouldn’t make him happy. I feel pressured, and disappointed every. fucking. day. I act like I don’t, but I’m constantly bothered about life after HS. The old heads always say “Enjoy life now, cause you won’t when you’re my age.” I can honestly see this, I understand. I don’t want it.
MY blog mainly reflects my personal beliefs or interests. Your opinion will not matter/affect what I reblog or post. However, I have a vast horizon of interests and beliefs. I love body mods, however I have none, besides two tattoos. I have an incredible want for respect, trust and loyalty. When these are interlaced with another human, I see our relationship being long and never-ending. I have truly one best friend. Sam. I also have a dramatic interest in cars. I love them, people don’t find that interesting so it ends there. Mostly, overall, music. I love music. As does every teenager. With following me, you will see my music preferences. Simple. As. That. I believe in a higher being, however, I will NOT follow any of the rules. I will sin, and I have sinned. You will never be forgiven by anyone of a higher being, other than yourself. You chose your own fate, decide your own future and live your own life. People who surround themselves with religion, and base their lives off of it, are wasting their lives, personally. However, opinions and beliefs are personal and I respect that.
In my future I’d like to see myself as loving father and a terrific husband. Anyone who truly knows me, will understand that I will fulfill those titles. I want gauges…and to be loaded with tattoos. People say “you’ll look ugly in 40+ years when all the ink fades”. I always wonder, doesn’t our entity as a whole, fade? Therefore, tat my whole, fucking, body.
That’s enough out of me. Good Bye. Enjoy your life as I will mine.
Created: 6/28/12 2:23 AM
*Edited 6/28/12 5:37 PM
**Edited 7/10/12 2:02 PM
***Edited 7/25/12 2:00AM
****Edited 8/2/12 10:45 PM
